Question by Crazy Beautiful: Writing a story about best friends One is Murdered the other thinks she knows who did it.?
I felt a gentle shove on my leg and a kiss on my forhead which caused me to wake up. It was my best friend Liz.
“Shhhh.” she placed her index finger over her mouth.
“What are you doing here?” I whispered. I looked at the clock on my night stand. It was almost 2am.
“Are you nuts, how did you get here?
“My friend is outside waiting in the car slip on something we’re going to the park and you’re coming with me” she stated.
“No I’m not I’m going to bed and you shouldn’t be out here this late.”I spoke in a low but aggressive tone.
“Just come with me Its only going to be for about an hour, I would do it for you Casey!Please”
“My parents would kill me I am just getting off punishment thanks to you as it is!”
There was a thud at my window. The strange guy was throwing rocks at my window. Liz ran to the window motioning with her hands to wait a minute.
“Look I wouldn’t have asked you to come if he didn’t have his gorgeous (she stated with emphasis) friend with him”
“Look i don’t care you’re on your own Liz I’m not going out at nearly 2am with these guys neither one of us know”.
“Now isn’t a good time to just hang out with random guys anyway its 2am”i stressed.
He began throwing rocks again.
‘What the hell is his problem he is going to wake my parents!”
I ran to the window ready to give him a peace of my mind. I was highly irritated from being rudely awakened and now this idiot was risking having my parents wake up.
“Thanks alot” Liz sucked her teeth and climbed out of my window.
“I’ll call you tomorrow”I told her. She waved me off before hopping into the passenger side of the jeep. The guy looked up at my window and then quickly drove away.
My crazy best friend. Last time I agreed to hang out with her and her buddies which happened to be criminals. I got grounded for a month when my parents came to pick me up from the police station. Liz mom didn’t even care. The car that the losers picked us up in was stolen and also had drugs in it when the police pulled them over. My parents were furious and even told Liz she couldn’t come over for a while. Not that she listened. She always came over my house when I was grounded the same way she left through my window. I guess she felt guilty because it was always her fault.
Getting back in my bed and comfortable i pulled the sheets up to my neck, rolled on my side and drifted off back to bed.

At 10am my mom woke me up.
“Have you seen Liz ?” “Her mom woke up and said she wasn’t in her room”
“No” I said groggily.
“She probally slept over at Carmen’s house” I lied.
“Well her mom called the police and they are looking for her”
“I’m sure she’ll be home mom” I said sleepily.

Ok this is what I have so far ?
I know i need to work on grammar and punctuation. But if u could tell me do u like the story so far. Is it interesting at all

Best answer:

Answer by вєℓℓα ✰ ωιтн тнє ѕтαяѕ ιи му єуєѕ✰
Its interesting, but you have the Dialogue a bunched together. Slow down, take time for details, like this:

Instead of this: “My friend is outside waiting in the car slip on something we’re going to the park and you’re coming with me” she stated.

Try this: “My friend is waiting in the car. Slip something on, we’re going to the park and you’re comin with me!” She stated in a loud, excited whisper. I squinted up at her, she looked fabulous as always. Her red hair was hanging around my face, tickling me uncomfortably. I swatted it away and yawned sleepily,
“No I’m not I’m going to bed and you shouldn’t be out here this late.”I spoke in a low but aggressive tone, trying to mask my yawn with a stern face.

Like that^^^ but keep doing it through out your story!!

GOOD LUCK AND KEEP WRITING!

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