Tuesday, March 5th, 2013 at
5:37 pm
Question by Josie CreamPuff: Does this sound like a good beginning to a story?
“I’m home!” Dad yells. “Dad!” I shout as I run down the carpeted stairs.
“Anna!” He says. And then I jump off the third step of the stairs, into his arms. I put my arms around his shoulders and hug him.
He hugs me and says, “How was your day, sweetie?”
“It was fun,” I say, “mom and I baked cookies!”
“Oh really? I bet they’re delicious,” He says sweetly. “Alright, now let me talk to your mother. Go brush your teeth and off to bed.”
“Do I have to go to bed now?” I glance over at the clock hanging on the wall, and add “It’s only 8:30.”
“Yes, tomorrow is Monday. Now go on.” He gently places me down, and I sigh. I hate Mondays.
I run up the stairs and onto the cold, white tile floor of the bathroom. I flick on the light, and walk over to the sink, which is only two steps away from where I stand by the door. I grab my purple toothbrush from the cup and pull out the toothpaste from the drawer.
Suddenly, I realize something: I forgot to let my dog, Ash inside. How long did I leave him outside? I don’t know.
As I turn back to go downstairs, I heard dad talk: “Listen. Don’t tell Anna, she’ll be heartbroken.”
And then mom: “What happened?”
Back to dad: “Ash must’ve gotten out of the hole he’s been digging because…”
Mom repeats: “What happened? Tell me, dear.”
Dad: “I ran over the dog.”
And that’s it. I black out.
Chapter 2
I hope to write stories and draw for my career. Please give suggestions. Please don’t be inappropriate in your answers. Thanks–JosieCreamPuff
Best answer:
Answer by W.C.
Not bad Josie but you can leave out the “And then mom” and “Back to dad” parts. Very well written young lady! Keep at it. You write better than some people twice your age!
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